Exhaustion and Masturbation

I have a lot of "me toos" in my life lately. People who wanna be like Mike. They think there is glory in having a tiny heard of minions to shape and mold into future world leaders. Like there is some badge involved in trading sanity for maternity!

Contrary to what 19 Kids and Counting has taught you there is no glory in having a ton of kids!

Monsters and Men

I know I say a lot on here about my "dads", implying that I have two fathers. I think its time I talk to you about those men. Its something I need to talk about so others will be able to heal. I do have two fathers. Both of them really great men in my eyes. Even with their flaws. But both of them had their dark secrets. My dad who passed away dealt with addictions and other problems on a daily. For him those demons were always just there. But he was a very good father to me and my brother. He adopted us. I was actually 17 when I signed the papers to allow him to adopt me because I was barely a few months away from aging out.

However, there is a darker part of my life. My other dad.

I Lied on my Driver's LicenseI

You know we all lie on our weight on there. We flub a few pounds lighter than we actually are. I think the only time I lie about being heavier than I actually am is when I am flying. Then I tell them I am 400 pounds of I like to eat everything! You know they ask that question because they have to judge how much fuel the plane needs to carry the weigh of the people on board. But this time I renewed my license thinking I was weighing almost 300 pounds so I told them I weighed 260 pounds. Well today I weighed in for the month and I am 239 lb!!! Holy crap go me!

Today is my daughter's 13th birthday!

I hear a lot of people on either side of the abortion argument. Many of these people are so uninformed they don't know half the shit they are talking about. They spew the same shit they have been told by idiots who don't even have the medical knowledge to put a band-aid on a scratch. Many of them think that an abortion is murder of an unwanted baby. But in reality many pregnancies are terminated early and the baby survives. There are many reasons this is done with the hopes that the baby lives.

For whatever medical reasons the pregnancy is very wanted and the baby loved but things happen that cause it to have to end. Either the mother is dying or the baby is in danger of dying. This is my story of my abortion of my very wanted baby.

Superficial

As a woman I feel the pressure from all around me to fit into a mold of slim and trim. So many things putting unrealistic ideals of body shape on us to have a thigh gap or super flat tummy. When I was younger I was very skinny. I did horrible things to be that skinny though, from not eating for weeks on end to sticking a toothbrush halfway down my throat to puke because I had suppressed my gag reflex so much that I had to practically reach into my stomach to pull the food back out. Now as a much older lady I am paying for that ignorance. Bad teeth, bad bones, weak heart, diabetes, and more that makes me think it definitely wasn't worth it to be thin. Anorexia and Bulimia fucked my body up.