Many times each year I sit and listen to my children complain about the candy in their stockings, or fight over who got more. Many times they snatch them down and attack them like rabid dogs, not once giving a care to the time and effort I put into filling them.
I don't mind it really. Hung among theirs is one lone stocking that gets hung and never filled. It is always there but never noticed. Maybe since its been there their whole lives it never really crosses their minds that its even there. But it hangs there. Alone. Empty. That stocking makes me the saddest and I never really share why.
This one hung for three years with simple chocolates in it and textured toys, items that made noises when you moved them. This stocking did not hang on its fourth year. I held it for a few hours deciding if I should or not. In the end it was just too sad to hang it and it went away with the ornaments that didn't get hung that year.
For years to come I decided that stocking needed to hang, if only as a reminder of why it doesn't bother me for the kids to treat theirs the way they do. Why their excitement is ok. It is a reminder that one day those stocking could be hung empty. That one day their owners may not be there to attack them like pirates after loot.
That stocking belongs to my child who passed away when he was 3.
Remember that when you become over stressed about the holidays, or your kids would rather play with the boxes than the awesome remote controlled car with the flashy lights. Sit back and take it all in and think about how much those memories would mean to you if they were all you had left. Be kind, be loved, be loving.
Most of all breath.
Love,
Mom
