My husband is going to make a baby with another woman and I am completely ok with it. I guess not many women would be as happy as I am that my husband produced a child with someone other than them and actually still love them. I am though, I am completely at peace with it.
What woman gets excited about that? Well I really am. I love babies!
Let me give you a little back story. The woman is a really good friend from high school. Her sons and mine are pretty good friends and he stays over with them quite often. She is one of the nicest people I know. Her sweetness is contagious. And now she's going to have a baby by my husband.
I know I hear everyone gasping! OMG! He's having a baby with your friend? How scandalous!
Well not really, technically he's only helping her have a baby. Its not like they are having an affair. I actually proposed the arrangement. I mean really look at my husband, he's freaking gorgeous! Look at our babies he makes beautiful babies! She was going to use donor sperm anyways so why not use his? Its not like they will be having sex to make it!
But it is way more than that. This lady is engaged to one of the sweetest people I have ever met who will make one hell of a mom! So technically it will be their baby. My husband is only providing the crucial other half of that process. He won't be "the baby daddy", he won't be making parental choices for the baby, and it won't call him daddy. Instead we will be the aunt and uncle! If when the time comes and the kid wants to know that will be up to them to decide what and how much to tell them.
But I know what you are thinking, how could I be ok with that? Well its very simple, I love them both. She wants to have more children and needs help. My husband is 23, athletic, and his stats are real. Not what the freezer clinic tells you they are. He really is 6' 4", and he really does have curly hair and blue eyes. But it goes deeper than that. I love her like a sister and I would do anything for family.
For me to allow him to help her is offering her every bit I can and show my selfless love. I am very secure in my relationship and know this doesn't change things with him and me, but maybe this is a way to bring her and I closer, a way to connect our families. We won't be telling the who, what, when, or where but I think sharing the why will help others in the same situation make the right choice for them.
This is a choice based in love and one that I have put a lot of thought into. Yes I do count in the choices made, this is my husband, anything either of us does will affect the other. Later on in life that child may want to know him. But also this was a choice that all four of us made based on what is right for both our families. But it is a choice based in love. My love for my friend. Creation of life is the ultimate gift of love I could give her.
I can't wait to be the best auntie ever! This is going to be the most beautiful baby with two of the best moms a kid could ever hope for! And LOTS of love!
Love,
Mom
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