I hear a lot of people on either side of the abortion argument. Many of these people are so uninformed they don't know half the shit they are talking about. They spew the same shit they have been told by idiots who don't even have the medical knowledge to put a band-aid on a scratch. Many of them think that an abortion is murder of an unwanted baby. But in reality many pregnancies are terminated early and the baby survives. There are many reasons this is done with the hopes that the baby lives.
For whatever medical reasons the pregnancy is very wanted and the baby loved but things happen that cause it to have to end. Either the mother is dying or the baby is in danger of dying. This is my story of my abortion of my very wanted baby.
When I was pregnant with my 5th child I began to bleed heavily. I went to my doctor where they did an ultrasound and confirmed what we were worried about. Her placenta had begun to separate from my uterus. This had happened with my second born as well and he was delivered full term with severe disabilities and brain damage from lack of oxygen.
I was given my options. A quarter of her placenta had released and there was heavy bleeding around it and the sack she was in. I was extremely anemic from the blood loss. She was have heart rate issues as well. Her tiny heart was racing. My doctor told me that she had several things in her favor. #1 being her size. My family is well known for our abnormally large babies 10+ pounders. She was well on her way to B I G big! Second being that she was a girl. Girl tend to thrive better when they are born early than boys do.
I was told that if I delivered her at 28 weeks she had a 50/50 chance of survival, if I tried to carry her longer to term I was risking a full abruption, which could happen at any moment without warning. If that happened she would die. Also, if I tried to carry longer I was going to continue to bleed out. That was putting both her and myself at risk for infection and death.
At 28 weeks I chose to terminate my pregnancy. One thing I should add is that my second child had just passed away 28 weeks earlier from complications linked to his placental abruption. This weighed heavily on my choice to terminate. I did not want to do that to another child. His short life was filled with medical problems and was mostly spent in and out of hospitals, seizures, and pain. I couldn't watch that happen again. I was told that she had a high chance of living normally if she were born early.
My choice was made with the hopes that my very wanted and loved daughter would survive. But if she didn't at least I knew she would not live with the pain and suffering my other child had. Since I had lost too much blood to risk a surgery I was sent to the hospital to begin and induction to deliver vaginally. Many late term abortions are actually performed through vaginal delivery induction. NeoNatal was on standby to take her as soon as she were delivered since I wanted to give her a chance to survive.
When I got to the hospital I was already at 4 cm dilated because my body had made the choice to abort before I did. By the time I was checked in and an IV hooked up I was at 7 cm. this was in 30 minutes. I was given a dose of pitocin that was too high. I had one very massive contraction and I felt the need to push. The only person in the room was a nurse and a nursing student. The doctor was still at his office finishing up the last of his patients. He was not there for my delivery. I felt the huge contraction, my body didn't give me a choice to push or not, I felt her come out, and the nurse came and lifted the blanket to look and "see if I was crowning", she turned white and then ran out of the room and never came back. The student nurse (who has to be the worlds greatest nurse now) came and looked and then turned to leave but decided to come back when she saw my panic. She lifted the blanket and looked a little freaked out. She told me my daughter had been delivered with her sack still intact.
She had to use scissors to cut her free. She talked to me the whole time telling me what she was doing. Or talking to herself, either way it helped me. She cut a small hole in the sack and then ripped it the rest of the way, and began cleaning my daughters face and nose. She told me she did not know what to do about the cord so she left it alone. As she cleaned her face Amber let out the most ear piercing, lung filled wail! Filling my panic with happiness. She had a strong hearty scream!
The whole time the girl kept saying this is a huge baby. As I am watching her I'm thinking no she's not she's tiny. I felt the placenta delivered. Still the doctor wasn't there. Soon the nurses all returned and took over as the NICU team began working on my daughter. I know this was probably a matter of minutes but it felt like hours. She was given a nasal tube to give her extra oxygen but the NICU doctor said she was breathing fine. Even the doctor said this was a huge baby. They kept asking was I sure she was early. They took her to the NICU to check her out better.
Finally, my doctor got there and checked me out. I was having a lot of bleeding and had to be given 2 units of blood to help the anemia. I asked a million questions and got a few answers. My daughter was doing fine but she needed a little extra oxygen but not a breathing tube. She had a very high bilirubin count and needed light therapy. I was allowed to see her but was told she would be transferred to another hospital that could handle her jaundice. Her blood sugar level was also too low. I was released in 24 hours and was allowed to go with her to the new hospital.
At the new hospital she was placed under a strong light for the bilirubin. She was given regular tests to check that her levels were coming down. At a week she was taken off the oxygen. At two weeks she had a bilirubin count of 9 and could come out of the light for good. All her tests were showing she was a normal healthy baby. Aside from an issue with milk she looked normal now. She was no longer yellow. All of her liver tests were normal function so she had no lasting damage from the jaundice. She was sent home with a breathing treatment because she did have some respiratory problems, I had to put her on a special formula for premies. I had o take her to specialists in Atlanta for premature babies. Finally someone explained to me that she was indeed a micro premie because she was delivered at 28 weeks, but that everyone was astounded by her size because at 7 pounds 14 ounces she weighed more than some full term babies.
Now today the child whose pregnancy I chose to terminate early turns 13. She is a very normal, smart, sassy, back talking, smartass, sarcastic, honor student. She has mild vision issues, that may be from the oxygen she got at birth or the 21 count bilirubin she had. She has digestive problems still but no more respiratory needs. She is healthy. In the 60th % for height and weight.
When I was admitted to deliver her I was admitted for a scheduled abortion. If she had not survived that's what it would have been listed as. But my prayers were answered and I could not be happier with my choice to end her pregnancy when I did. I gave her the best chance at a normal life. I love her and I will never regret what I did. But I am very thankful that in this country I had the choice to make. I can't begin to think what would have happened if a few under educated idiots had won in their efforts to take that freedom to chose away from me.
For this reason I full support freedom of choice and a woman's right to have an abortion for whatever reason she chooses. I can't even begin to think what might have happened if I didn't have that right. It could have ended very badly with both of us dead.
Love,
Mom
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